I recently sent an email to my email list, and I wanted to know what was most important to them about weight loss.

A woman on my list replied with three words, "abdominal fat loss."

Seems reasonable. So I followed up to ask what the motivation behind this was.

One word: Image

My first reaction was that of judgment. How could someone be so superficial and vain? Who in her life is making her feel so self-conscious?

But then I had to admit to myself, I am conscientious of my image, too.

The more I thought about it, my image is not a pain point right now because I feel comfortable in my own skin.

But I thought back to when I was in my teens and twenties.

As a pre-pubescent teenager, I was a bit dorky. Maybe this is still the case, but I just don’t care as much. I was pretty skinny and had an un-athletic body. Even my mom would comment on how droopy my shoulders were because I just didn’t fill my shirts around the shoulder area. (Asian moms are blunt not to be mean or abusive, but it’s how they express love.)

I also had pretty bad acne for a number of years and had to deal with significant eczema on many visible and less visible areas of my body. And it was very uncomfortable when people would notice and comment on it.

I did my best to try to hide it. I was worried about what others would think about my skin.

But over the years, I learned that we can shape our bodies as a result of how we think, feel, and act.

Why what we look like on the outside matters

What we look like on the outside matters because it tells us a lot about what is going on inside the body.

Because form follows function.

We can look vibrant and energetic as a result of nourishing our bodes with a nutrient-rich foods.

We can have skin that looks vibrant and clear because we get enough sleep, are properly hydrated, and are not inflamed.

We can have facial expressions of ease, peace, and joy because I do things to cultivate inner peace.

We can have good muscle mass and a strong physiques because of the work we put in at the gym, being physically active, and moving our bodies with intention.

We can feel comfortable in our bathing suits and have clothes fit well because it shows we are putting effort into taking care of our bodies.

Let’s be clear that this is very different than doing things just to meet the current societal standards of beauty that are being sold to us by media and marketing.

What our appearance tells us about what is going on inside the body

Medicine is both and art and science. We use lab tests to measure things and help us with making a diagnosis. But much of the art of medicine is observation.

The physical exam (a dying art) is assessing someone’s health based on what we can see, feel, hear, and even smell. Taste, for obvious reasons, is not utilized much for physical exams.

I can tell a lot now based on what someone looks like and how they move.

I can tell a lot by the quality of someone’s hair, skin, and complexion.

I can tell a lot about someone by their body composition.

• Do they look muscular or lack muscle mass?

• Where do they hold fat on their body?

• Is the fat subcutaneous (under the skin but on top of muscle) or visceral (around the organs and underneath the muscle that makes the abdomen round and firm)?

• Is the fat more around the abdomen, lower body, or both?

This begins to give me clues about how someone lives their lives and what they might be experiencing.

Someone with a lot of muscle mass could be from intentional training, as a result of playing a sport, or from a physical line of work.

Someone who is very slender may not appear to have an excess fat issue, but can be "skinny fat" where they have relatively low muscle mass but have higher relative amounts of body fat. This person could be spending a lot of time being sedentary—sitting at desk, in the car, or on a couch for hours on end.

Men and women who have a lot of weight around their mid-section but have skinny legs tend to have an adrenal imbalance from stress and subsequent cortisol (a stress hormone) imbalance.

Women with more lower body fat around the hips are associated with estrogen imbalances but whole body weight gain could be more of a thyroid issue.

This is just an example of why appearance matters.

It communicates what is happening metabolically and tells me if someone is moving towards or away from health.

Design a self-image you can be proud of…

One of my core principles is to take ownership and agency over what I can control. I cannot control what others think of me, but I can control how I speak to myself in my own head and the intention I put into my body.

Realize that your body is a result of what you practice every day.

Are you well-rested and getting good sleep or staying up too late?

Are you moving your body vigorously or sitting most of the day?

Are you consciously breathing or find yourself holding your breath or mouth breathing?

Are you filling your mind with useful empowering information or constantly being distracted by inflammatory news and tabloids?

Are you connecting with nature on a daily basis or sitting inside all day?

Are you nourishing your body with whole foods or filling your body with junk, ultra-processed food?

It is human nature that others will look at us and make subconscious judgements about us, whether it is right or wrong doesn’t matter in the eyes of nature. This is the reptilian part of our brain that is wired to look for danger and to search for mates to procreate with.

Sometimes it might be the voices in our own head that are making these judgments about ourselves.

The dissatisfaction comes when there is a discrepancy between our self-image and the real-world evidence that may say otherwise.

We want to look healthy but don’t feel healthy. Or when we want to look energetic but feel burnt out inside.

We don’t have to do it for others, but we can be intentional about observing what we see in the mirror and noticing that we may not like what we see.

That is okay.

You can use this as fuel and motivation to change your life and transform your body from the inside out.

You get to choose the image you want to project to the world through your body.

What you look like on the outside matters inasmuch as it tells you whether or not you are living the life you want to live.

Beauty and health on the inside and outside, no matter what your body type, is a result of living a life that aligns with a healthy mind, body, and spirit.

P.S. If you are interested in designing a body and health you are proud of, I can help you identify why you might have trouble losing weight, feel inflamed, or strategies to feel fit and strong.

I open up some time every week to offer a Health by Design Session for those who want to rent my brain for a nominal fee.